The Identity Search of a Widow

Who am I ?

I used to be the wife and helpmate of a wonderful, Godly man.

But now he’s gone, for good.

He’s in the room Christ prepared for him in heaven.

But I’m still here...without him.

It hurts.

I miss him.

He was my buddy.

I’m tempted to ask God, “Why?”

But I choose to stand firm in my faith.

I choose to become trusting, childlike.

I won’t question God’s motives, His judgment, His sovereignty or His love for me.

For I know His ways are not my ways.

And His ways are righteous.

I will trust in His master plan.

I will rest in His loving arms.

I will draw on His strength.

I will lean of His promises.

I won’t ask, “Why?”

I will ask expectantly, “How?”

“How will You use his death for Your glory?”

“How can I best serve You through my widowhood?”

“How can I point my children toward You, as their perfect Father?”

“How can I let go and trust You to meet my every need?”

Moment by moment I will ask, “How?”

And I will wait patiently and silently for His answers with a thankful heart.

Thankful for the love of a wonderful man; many never experience such a love.

Thankful for the time I had with him and the way he nurtured my relationship with God.

Thankful that I have never had to wonder where my best friend is now.

Thankful that an awesome God would choose me to bear witness of His strength.

Thankful that God understands my pain and is here to comfort me.

“My God, I know who You are.

You’re the one who brought us together.

You joined the two of us into one.

You know that when my husband died, I became a half.

But through my halfness, Your love makes me whole.

I know who I am.

I am a widow in mourning,

But I am whole.

For I am a beloved child of Yours.”

                                               Patti McCarthy Broderick

                                              Reprinted with permission from He Said, “Press” © 2004